Getting dressed for events continues to be a challenge. I still have a handful of forgiving wardrobe items but they’re slowly dwindling with things I can easily get into. They’d just have to deal with the leggings and soft boots.
The hospice re-opening was a small affair, which was honestly comforting. It was comprised of Sairalis, her daughter and my friend Merialeth, Ensiferum and his new wife, Andy- my own attending physician for Seedling’s growth.
There were a few others, Sairalis’ attendant Felano Glacierwind whom I’d seen around the city often but never knew much about, and another agent of some sort that lingered near Merialeth. There were two other menders I was likewise unfamiliar with who said little during the meeting. Rowaena came by at one point, with a donation from Ravenwood for the hospice and it’s continued administration.
The responsibility of which, seems to have been passed on primarily to Merialeth. After agreements were made for a day mid-week for a regular open day for mending, advice and the like with all of us present, the group largely dispersed. I was glad for the chance to congratulate Merialeth on her ‘promotion’. She seemed to be doing a fine job and handled the matters quite gracefully though with a hint of the same playfulness that piqued me to befriend her in the first place.
There were other matters that came up in the small intimate chat, once congratulations were made for Andy and Sif’s marriage, the lovely new bride reminded me it was about time for another check-up with her. I dreaded it, after my last visit from her. Even though I knew Seedling was fine and I was in generally decent health- far better conditions for both of us than last time, I still couldn’t help but feel anxious. Maybe everything wasn’t fine. Maybe I am not as in-tune with Seedling and my body as I like to think I am.
I agreed all the same, that we’d see each other in the morning, early the following week. It seemed Merialeth had something she wanted to discuss as well and we made plans for that evening. In all honesty, I wasn’t really ready to see anyone any sooner than that. There was still so much going on in my head, I didn’t want it to spill out in front of someone.
I returned home from the meeting feeling overall, better about things however, in spite of my anxieties. It was a well-spent evening and I was proud to be a part of the hospice and healer’s union. In truth I certainly did not learn the art of mistweaving only for my own benefit, it was to help protect and bolster my people and no scale or venue is too small for my efforts to be meaningful.
Dear Professor Dae’rienne,
I first apologize for the delay in my reply, I’ve had a lot on my mind, though how I might help with your school has been among the ideas and thoughts. We are certainly on the same page about the importance of education, particularly in our own culture and with a child…
My dear friend Lady Duskewind,
I am pleased to inform you that my courses as of now are solely based in Silvermoon until I am otherwise instructed. Your interest in helping me really blesses my heart in the deepest ways that I cannot even begin to express. I’d love to visit your shop sometime, mayhap I can bring tea and just sit and even visit with you about future plans if you’d have me. Plans within the school are blossoming and flourishing as a group of intellectuals have taken myself, the two schools that are under my wing, and even my students into their fold.
They call themselves the Collegiate of the Wise, and though there are many Sin’dorei within their ranks, they welcome all walks of life which will open my doors to even more students seeking an education. I suppose that’s what I miss most about being part of the Kirin Tor; I had several students of all races who each had something different to bring to the table, so no doubt our Sin’dorei youth will definitely take something away with having exposure to all different cultures schooling with them.
However, there is one upcoming student that I will be adding to my roster soon, one Acer Saccharum. She has written me in interest and hopes to start her formal education with me and it has really made me very excited. With what you offer for the event by the Ravenwood Coalition, I’d be honored! I can only hope that with the enthusiasm others had after my brief speech at the forums, more will come to see the importance of enhancing the education of our future leaders as well.
Wisdom’s guidance, my dear friend. I hope you are well, and enclosed, you’ll find a few little onesies and booties that I’ve knitted for your little one on the way. I cannot express my excitement for you and your growing family!
I was pleased to receive the letter and vowed to be quicker with my replies this time, thinking back on the many engagements I’d left un-attended the last few weeks.
The gifts though were a pleasant and unexpected surprise. I opened each with care and looked them over, fiddling with the little buttons, cuddling the soft cloth. The second gifts for Seedling. I carefully wrapped them back up and stowed them in the small closet, along with the necklace Alisson had given me before the grand opening.
It made everything all too real for a moment. There were people, looking forward to this child, people other than myself and well… Braeden. They expected everything to go fine. For Seedling to be born normally and safely and to grow up healthy and dress up for Hallow’s End and go to school, maybe learn the path of the arcane that I could never get the hang of, that’s supposed to come so easily to our people. She could have special early exposure to it all with Nemeore and then learn the rest from Iria-
Nemeore. I would be naming her godmother, of course. Not only because there is no one more fit or that I trust for guidance for a child of my own but also because should something happen to Braeden and I, there would be no one else I trust to take care of Seedling and raise her the way I’d want to.
The thought made me realize that people have special events for this, they have little parties to celebrate the imminent birth and probably that is where the title is given. I didn’t much care for another party with me as the center of attention. The bachelorette party, really in a way was a disaster. All those women who attended, had invitations to the wedding. They knew when it was supposed to be held and they were informed that it wasn’t. All of that was for nothing. It was embarrassing, really.
I put it all out of my mind for the time being and focused on other things, appointments and of course the hospice meeting. One would think with so much to keep myself busy, my mind wouldn’t wander so much.
That’s why you did this, I reminded myself. You knew it was wrong, to pretend and it was only going to be hard on the both of you, and even worse for Seedling. You can’t go through life lying about your feelings because it was ‘for the best’. It’s not.
I reached over to collect the mug of tea in both hands, taking a long gulp and letting the warmth and lemon roll all the way down, soothing me as it went. The more though, that I thought about Braeden and our situation, I wondered if it was him, or, as the saying goes, “It’s not you, it’s me”.
I knew that Anynduil, and of course his death had taken up so much of my heart and thoughts it was hard to focus on other people around me, even friends, let alone another lover. I never meant for Braeden to even become that. Looking back, flirting with him had only been my foolish acting out, at finding out about Any and Creep.
What about now though? Things are so much more complicated and different. So many things have happened.
I curled up to ponder it more and silently pray to anything that would listen, that Braeden would continue to heal up, wherever in the sands he was, so at least he could return and I could explore all these strange feelings further.
Melada had been at the Peacock Lounge for some time now and had been drinking to her heart’s content. The alcohol had loosened her lips and she was speaking freely, though chances are that she’d of done that sober, too. She liked Chaszmyre, something about the woman made her feel comfortable. Her secrets were safe here.
"Do I have a crush?" She repeated the question she’d just been asked before shaking her head from side to side with a smirk as she snickered softly. "Nope. Last crush I had was Pamina and we all know how that went.. so done crushing on straight women and then falling for them, it never ends well. Never again, Chasz. Mark my words, you heard it here first." She raised her glass up to take another sip, though her ears twitched at the next question.
"Serious relationship or flings? Serious all the way. Fffrickin’ flings never frickin’ work, I get too attached and the other person never does.. done with that noise too, Chasz. If they won’t commit, then they’re not worth my time." She finished her drink after speaking and then slid the empty glass across the bar for Chaszmyre to fill up again. The final question was asked as the refilled glass slid back across the bar.
"Relationships without sex, huh? Honestly, I’ve never had one. It’s.. probably pretty bad, isn’t it? I’m working on fixing that, I.. well. Eventually, I think I’d need to sleep with anyone I was seeing if we were both serious. But could I and do I plan to hold that part off for a very long while next time I enter a relationship? Yes, yes I could and I will do so. I can sustain myself for a very long time on kisses and cuddling and if they can’t wait, then they’re not right for me.. y’know, Chasz. Who needs New Year’s resolutions? This shitty holiday is the best time to make resolutions. So, cheers to a better love life, yeah?" She raised her glass up to her pregnant bartending friend who raised up an imaginary glass of her own. The two clinked their glasses together before knocking them back.
- What if the one thing you loved was taken away and you were not allowed to show any emotion over it?
- What if you were given one thing that you had longed the world over for and when you got it, you were completely disenchanted as it wasn’t what you thought?
- Say your closest confidantes were double-agents, even if you knew this, would you still trust them with your life in the end?
Feel free to answer one or all, I’ll post Iria’s in a little bit. <3
Honestly if what I loved most, Seedling coming in close in front of my art, was taken away, I don’t think I could show any emotion about it. Loosing my first two children was hard, impossible really and I have no idea how I survived it and continue to have hope for Seedling or expose myself to other people’s healthy children. But losing this one, that I’ve put so much hope into, that’s changed so many things would take everything from me. There wouldn’t be tears enough, or words to express it.
If a happy home and normal family life running my business really aren’t what I’ve built them up to be, in my head, I would find a way to carry on anyway. You don’t work hard for something that you want, only to throw it away when it isn’t as perfect or great as you imagined it.
If the people closest to me were double-agents of some other kind, as in, they weren’t all they seemed, in their professional life, or had some secret past that I discovered, that would be of no consequence and I’d be glad to keep their secrets. But if I found someone close to me, to whom I’ve confided things, had turned against me, or used that information against me, or given it to someone who would, that ‘friend’ would be dead to me, likely forever. There is no return from a direct, intentional betrayal like that.
That’s a pretty broad question, I’d think you’d be more specific if you’re takin advantage of my honest mood. I love Seedling. More than anyone, Seedling comes to mind first. Then Warmonger.
I love Nemeore and Riedra too, in different ways and Alisson and Bronvys. And of course Braeden. But how much and in what way, has been the problem in the past and remains so now.
Dream date? At this point? I think it’d be a giant and delicious meal, made by someone else who didn’t expect anything from me in return but conversation and then let me stay in their bathtub as long as I wanted. I can’t travel too far and I can’t drink and I’m not interested in hooking up with anyone or scoring any thistle or worse, so it puts a damper on a lot of my old ideas about great dates.